


Underestimation

by Molly_Jae



Series: 2020 Malec Discord Server Advent Calendar [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Fluff and Angst, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Insecure Magnus Bane, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly_Jae/pseuds/Molly_Jae
Summary: In which a kiss under the mistletoe leads to an entirely different conversation than what would usually follow.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: 2020 Malec Discord Server Advent Calendar [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036668
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Underestimation

**Author's Note:**

> For the Malec Discord Server's 2020 Advent Calendar Prompts.
> 
> Day 2: Mistletoe

“Let me get this straight,” Magnus massaged his temples. “You angered a warlock to the point of getting cursed.”

“Yes.”

“And the curse they laid on you was that once you fell under mistletoe, you would be stuck there until you’re kissed by someone extremely specific?” He raised a brow at the shadowhunter, torn between amusement and disappointment.

“Yes.”

“Sounds cliché.” Simon quipped from where he was perched on the back of Magnus’ couch.

“But not your true love?” Magnus sighed. That would have been infinitely easier, wouldn’t it?

“Not my true love, no.”

“The person you underestimate the most.” Whoever this warlock was—and Magnus already had a bit of an idea who it was based on the sole reason that it took both Simon and Jace to annoy them—they were going to be banned from New York for at least half a century.

“Yes.”

“And that’s me?”

“…Yes.”

“I literally saved Alicante.” He said with a roll of his eyes, adding petulantly. “And your ass.”

“…Yes.”

The shadowhunter looked ashamed. With a small shake of his head, Magnus stepped up and into Jace’s personal space. They were all in the doorway of his penthouse, where Jace had been trapped for the better part of an hour after having arrived with Simon to ask Magnus to look them over for any indicator of the curse or a means of going around it. Neither had thought that Magnus would have decked the apartment with mistletoe in the hopes of always having an excuse to pull Alec into a kiss.

Jace’s mismatched darted everywhere but him until he cradled his face in both his hands. Belatedly, Magnus wondered what feelings Jace could be telegraphing to his _parabatai_. He’d sent Alec a text that Jace was in their home of course, but that had been ten minutes ago, and Alec was in Alicante for his meeting with Consul Penhallow.

He pressed his lips to Jace’s keeping it decidedly chaste. Just a simple press of their lips.

Only, when Magnus tried to pull away, one of Jace’s hand had settled on his waist and the other was on the side of his neck, tilting the warlock’s head _just so_. It was a move so familiar and intimate to Magnus, because it was such an Alec move, ever since the shadowhunter had realized how much it made Magnus melt.

When Jace deigned to let him go, Magnus was treated to the sight of the normally overconfident shadowhunter blushing.

“Oh wow,” they heard Simon exhale. For a vampire, the kid was as far from subtle as can be.

“I think I should explain—”

“Well, that’s that,” Magnus laughed, forcing himself to take more steps back. “See if you can move—”

Jace took a step towards him, to which Magnus held a finger up and his arm out in his usual non-verbal sign of asking someone to wait.

“Wonderful! I’ll let Alec know you’re no longer stuck to our front door.”

Without another word, Magnus created a portal and left, leaving the couple in the living room. It was cowardly, he supposed, but he couldn’t bear to stomach the thoughts that swarmed him. He stood on the rooftop, leaning against the very same ledge that Alec had once—

Magnus shook his head to rid himself of the thought, but once started, his brain didn’t settle for just one bad thought. Like the ocean creeping up the shoreline, he found himself recalling all the other moments he’d been found lacking. Centuries were such a long time to make and keep memories, but it was never enough to _forget_.

The more recent ones were more vibrant, of course: his inadequacy at helping Max and the choice to break both his and Alec’s heart for the good of his people; his bad decisions costing him his title as the High Warlock of Brooklyn; his lack of position rendering him unable to get the boost of power he needed to help Jace; his loss of magic and the subsequent utterly _useless_ _fool_ he had become; his blindness to the reasons and truth behind Alec’s actions.

Saving Alicante by closing the rift from Edom was both an act of love and an act of redemption. It didn’t even take him long to realize it. He’d done it to save Alec, of course, and the people he would one day lead, but Magnus had also done it as his own sort of apology to his then-fiancé. How could he have ever let Alec believe that he could be anything less than satisfied with a life by his side? He knew how intolerable he had been as a temporary mundane, but he would have liked to think he would have eventually adapted. Raphael alone was proof of how one can adapt into mundane life after once being an immortal being.

At his worst moments, Magnus recalled seeing Alec in Edom and thinking himself hallucinating.

And not wanting to be wrong.

Because an Alec that wasn’t really there was an Alec that couldn’t grow to resent him. He’d never been truly immune to the thoughts and opinions of people. He was far better at keeping his mask of indifference and confidence after centuries of learning to craft and wield it, yes, but the few he’d allowed himself to fall apart in front of held power over him he could never truly articulate.

Much like Ragnor, Raphael, and Catarina, he trusted Alec, but he never wants to disappoint Alec. To disappoint Alec was to fail to live up to their expectations of him—to fail to be the person they wanted him to be. To fail Alec was to be unworthy of his—

“When things get bad, promise me you’ll come to me.”

He turned around, surprised to see that the sun was mostly set and the sky had turned a dark plum. The portal behind his husband shut, leaving them to the mercy of the dimming sky.

“You haven’t been answering my texts or calls.”

Brows furrowing, Magnus realized he hadn’t heard them despite the charm he’d placed on his phone to ensure he’d always be alerted of any text or call.

“I was worried you wouldn’t be here.” Alec pressed a quick kiss to Magnus’ lips, one hand settling on Magnus’ lower back. When his husband didn’t immediately lean into his warmth, Alec knew he was still more unsettled than he was willing to admit.

He slid his hand under the vest Magnus wore, and he pressed more firmly against the silk of Magnus’ shirt. It wasn’t enough to move Magnus one way or the other, but he knew it brought a bit of comfort to the warlock to know that he was physically there.

“I should tell you,” he began, thumb rubbing absentmindedly where it sat closer to Magnus’ waist. “Jace and I opened our _parabatai_ bond the moment he kissed you.”

Magnus turned to him abruptly.

“A quick kiss would have been fine, probably, but I didn’t like the thought of you two having to kiss again or me not being the last person you kissed, even if it wasn’t entirely my body.” Alec shrugged, looking out at the skyline and portraying nonchalance despite the pink creeping into his cheeks.

“You are ridiculous, Alexander _._ ” Magnus murmured, already beginning to smile.

“I’m a little possessive,” admitted Alec with a roll of his eyes. “I don’t like having to share you with anyone.”

“Oh trust me, the last person who would want to share me is your _parabatai_.” Even Magnus could hear his own self-deprecation. He attempted to step away only to be held in place by Alec’s grip on his shirt. “I’m sorry, I suppose it never occurred to me how much weight I put behind your family’s acceptance. Your _parabatai_ , especially, who shares part of your soul…I know you can’t live without him, Alec, and that—”

And what else could Magnus say after that? How could he tell Alec that he was afraid that if it ever came to a choice between Jace and Magnus, he feared (and yet also expected) the archer to choose his _parabatai_? Not even their marriage could uproot the deep-seated insecurity Magnus had over nephilim. After centuries of knowing, in theory and in practice, that nephilim always chose their own, how could he just let that go?

Even when he’d driven the Owl out of Jace’s body, it had been with the knowledge that Alec would not be able to live without Jace, but could very well survive without Magnus.

Alec let his hand settle more firmly on Magnus’ hip, his other hand settling on the rail in front of them. “It isn’t your strength or love for me that Jace underestimated.” His sigh seemed to affect both of them, as Magnus adjusted to drift closer to him without actually being pressed to his side. “It isn’t even about you so much as who you represented.”

Magnus turned to face him more fully, head tilting to the side.

“You’re everything I ever needed and wanted, Magnus.”

Knowing his husband could and would talk over him if given half the chance. He steeled himself, knowing that this was a conversation long overdue. They’d never really talked about it after everything that had happened.

“I once made the mistake of asking you to save Jace at all costs because I couldn’t imagine life without him…and I couldn’t handle anyone even asking me to do so.”

“I would never—!”

Alec shook his head, pressing a kiss to his husband’s temple as he pulled him close. “You would never ask me to, yes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have to someday. Jace and I grew up knowing one of us was probably going to die on the field. It was a dream that we might do so together. Even when I had that misguided crush on him, the future I let myself imagine didn’t end in a house with kids.”

Magnus hated the reminder of how deplorable he thought Alec’s childhood had been.

“Then I met you.”

Tipping Magnus’ chin up with a finger, Alec didn’t have to wait long for his husband to drop his glamour. Golden cat eyes shined, pupils expanding to adapt to the low light.

“I met you and you were everything I never even thought I could _want_ , let alone _have_. You, with your glitter and eyeliner. Your cryptic replies and your own misguided belief that I was anyone ever worth your time.” He chuckled at Magnus’ frown and rushed to continue, “And now we’re here.”

“Married and in need of a long vacation we can call our honeymoon,” teased Magnus with a raised brow.

“You symbolize everything I ever hoped to achieve, Magnus.” He kissed him then, soft and slow. When they parted, Magnus’ hands were holding the lapels of his jacket, a reversal of their usual positions. “Someone who was powerful and true to themselves; who embodied what mom taught us it meant to be a Lightwood—we act first and accept the consequences. You, who gave us up when you thought it was the only way to save your people. You, who gave up your post when your people disagreed with your choices. You, who lost everything for me…and came to save my sorry ass anyways.”

When he saw Magnus open his mouth to reply, he shushed him with a quick press of their lips once again.

“Jace doesn’t give a shit that you saved him from himself.” Alec said with a sheepish grin, feeling the vague pulse of discomfort from Jace that had been there since that afternoon. “Or Alicante.”

Magnus’ eyes fell closed as Alec rubbed their noses together. The cold that had seeped into his bones from the spiraling thoughts he’d had earlier had been slowly melting away upon Alec’s arrival.

“Jace cares about the fact that you were willing to go through everything that you have since we’ve met _for me_.”

A genuine smile blossomed on the warlock’s lips.

“And he didn’t think it was a two-way street.”

Bright gold revealed themselves from beneath dark lashes.

“He underestimated the depth and breadth of how I feel about you because frankly, it isn’t something I like sharing. Not even through our bond.” Alec kissed the corner of Magnus’ lips, his facial hair tickling Alec. “I never thought about what it meant that outside of you, no one else had ever really gotten my attention. I barely even notice how deeply I’ve woven you into my life, Magnus. I look at you and all I can think about is that I get to spend the rest of my life calling you mine. And someday, not today, but someday…”

Alec shook his head and pressed another kiss to the other side of Magnus’ lips. Magnus’ arms snuck underneath Alec’s jacket, burrowing into Alec’s warmth and breaking away from Alec’s hold on his face. The taller man wrapped his arms around his husband, pressing his cheek to the side of Magnus’ head.

“I can’t live without you, Magnus.” They could both recall the first time he’d uttered those same words to Magnus, both reeling from the choices they’d made but unaware of the far-reaching consequences. “I meant it then, and I mean it now. I would have stayed in Edom with you, but not even necessarily for you. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done to be able to stay by your side for as long as I live.”

A conversation with Simon remained at the forefront of his mind; of possibilities he and Magnus had agreed they would explore after a few more years together.

“And maybe the rest of your life and the rest of mine could be something that meant the same thing some day.”

“ _Aku cinta kamu,_ Alexander.” Magnus kissed Alec, glossed lips pressed firmly against the dark deflect rune he loved so much. “Now why don’t we make sure we know where all the mistletoe in the loft are? Just in case any of our wonderful friends are cursed again during our holiday party.”

Alec snorted, “Yes, sure, _that’s_ why we’re doing that.”

“Alexander!” Magnus scoffed, though the fact that he was still cuddled up to his shadowhunter and pressing kisses to his neck betrayed his feelings. “Our party is tomorrow and we still have a full day at work. We should double check them now.”

And so they did…

For a while.

We know how they get.

**Author's Note:**

> Because they absolutely _try_ to check for the mistletoe, but get distracted...often.
> 
> [Join the Discord!](discord.gg/GY8jT4x)


End file.
